My sis asked me, “You want to be my goalfriend?” and of course I said YES!!!

Over the past couple of years, I have been building my brand, the Bougie Black Blogger, and I will tell you it is not as easy as it looks! In fact, I have wanted to through in the towel many times thinking I was not connecting with my readers the way I intended on connecting but once in a while, I would get in email or DM telling me how much this blog means to them and encouraging me to go on!

One thing I learned is that my family, very supportive and loving, are not my goalfriends and do not see my vision and what I am doing/working hard for and that is ok…

But what isn’t ok is not finding people that can share a shared interest in building in the way you are going. I am not saying that they have to be doing the same thing as you but they have to be on a mission for pursuing goals that can align with the process.

Get You a Goalfriend

Where did Goalfriend come from?

I heard this term a while ago and not sure who started it but I researched and found a website with the mission and title of Goalfriend by Darlene Whitehurst. I have seen more than a dozen Facebook communities with the word Goalfriends as the title. I have seen many posts from friends and members of other groups talking about get you a goalfriend. So I am saying, I did not make this up and I would give honor to whom it is due but unsure of where it derived from! With that being said, here is my perspective!

What is a Goalfriend

A Goalfriend is another word for an accountability partner but goes deeper where it isn’t just one-sided but both parties are actively seeking change or growth in different areas of their lives. They are the ones to text you about successes and struggles. They are the ones that help you talk things out in a non-judgemental space. They encourage you and give you insight and resources. They are your sounding board.

They have similar backgrounds and have similar goals. THEY AREN’T THE SAME!

For example, my goalfriend just happened to be a teacher as well and in pursuit of living out her dream in film. I am not looking to get into film but I am in pursuit of taking my brand to the next level. I throw texts their way about certain thoughts about the things I am doing and they do the same. We also have working meetings where we just have our laptops and do work on our individual processes to pursue our dreams.

What a Goalfriend is NOT

• They are not someone that pacifies you
• They are not someone that condones a toxic lifestyle
• They are not someone that sits idly by without contributing
• They are not someone that rides your coattail
• They are not someone that is your sidekick
• They are not someone that lectures you
• They are not someone that lives a lifestyle that you don’t live
• They are not your mentor or mentee

How To Find A Goalfriend

Networking Events– When you go to these amazing events, don’t go there just seeking to be served… go with a goal of helping others. Remember this is a 2-way street. Make sure you are talking with people not only about what they are doing now but what they are seeking to do in the near future. In fact, create a list of questions to ask to be intentional about the new goalfriendship. Once you have your few likely candidates, make sure you stay in contact with them. It is pretty much a courtship… sounds crazy I know but it works!

Church/Work/Class– You frequent these places often and chances are there is someone just like you seeking some support in similar areas! Start connecting with people. Create a safe space that lets people know you are there to support and are seeking support.

Facebook Groups and Other online forums– MOST OF MY BEST FRIENDS I met ONLINE! But not just randomly… we are in very specific groups mostly blogging and business for me!

Your Friends– This is both easy and hard! You are already close and know each other and follow them on FB and IG so you know where they are going. But sometimes, we can be so close that we can do more damage than helping. I won’t go down the road, but you know what I am talking about.

Tips on Cultivating a Goalfriend

• Don’t FORCE it, let it grow organically
• Put a name on it once you feel it is time- TITLES help understand the job description
• Get one or two no need for too many, too many people in your ear can do some serious damage
• Do things together- Volunteering, Networking, Workshops and more… helps push each other and have someone to bounce ideas off of right away
• Share resources- job leads, software, etc
• You are not competing so do not feel like you have to one-up them
• Be careful how much information you give up write away… unfortunately, NEW people are not what or who they say they are and you know where that can lead!

I already have my dream job, why do I need a Goalfriend?

Random, but I am glad you asked!

As we continue to live our lives, we experience and are exposed to so many new things that are both harmful and helpful, we hit certain peaks and then plateau and sometimes we do not know what to do next. As we continue to level up we are faced with new challenges and events, having a Goalfriend at different times is helpful especially if your people in your life aren’t the support that you need.

Areas for goalfriends

• Fitness Goalfriends
• Relocating Goalfriends
• Style/Wardrobe Goalfriends
• Education Goalfriends
• Entrepreneurship Goalfriends
• Healing Goalfriends
• Parenting Goalfriends
• and so many more… there is no limit really

So now that I have PRESSURED you into getting a Goalfriend… share this with them and say, “Will you be my goalfriend?”

In contrast, I wrote a blog called Your Board of Directors, which should not be synonymous for Goalfriend, this is pretty much a one-way street where you find people to help you in your endeavors, be sure to read about it!

Let me know if you get a new goalfriend!

Bougie University wants to be your new Goalfriend. They are helping people design a life they love in all areas and they love the career changers! So if interested, sign up for their program and get the one on one and step by step guidance.

Please Pin These!!