Hey Beautiful people!
It is the New Year which means, time to reevaluate the people in your life! You may be an entrepreneur, a parent, a teacher, minister or whatever, there are some people that just need to stay in 2016. Figuring that out can be hard or easy, but if it is hard, you have to see how these friends or people are affecting your life. You have to see what roles they play in your advancement in life.
Three weeks ago I had the privilege of attending The DEC’s Diversity Business Week and one of the key speaker’s was Carl Dorvil CEO of GEX Management. He had an awesome story of starting a tutoring business his junior year of college and selling it for an amazing amount of money and beginning other businesses that were successful. As he told his story, he referenced his BOARD OF DIRECTORS and linked them as his friends. I began to think hard on that, reflecting on the friends that I have in my life and how they are part of my board of directors.
As a blogger and entrepreneur, I cannot have certain voices in my ear, voices that mean harm or have no idea. As a human-being there are certain voices that get weighed heavily and some very lightly like a best friend or co-worker. You and all the many hats you wear, you have to decipher the voices you let guide you.
One of the biggest lessons I learned in my adult years was to “Tell Up” and that just means you talk with people in places where you are trying to go or who have been where you are at. It is hard to take advice from people who have no clue about anything you are doing.
The people in your life have a specific role(s) they have for you among other many ways they connect to you. For example, my mother, the many roles she has in my life and at different stages of my life such as a caregiver, nurturer, punisher and more. Right now, in this stage of life, her specific role for me is “Biggest Fan” and “Friend”. The way she brags about me and gets so excited to tell people about me means the world to me.
I have a friend named Christian Simone who I would name the “Get it Together, Woman”, I swear, she checks me on a regular, putting opportunities in my path, calling out my gifts and skills telling me she sees more in me and what she is doing is so needed. When you have friends that are champions of you and your work, there is nothing like it.
I have two friends, George and Ade, they have turned into collaborators, you know the saying, you can go far by yourself but you can go even farther with others? This is so true. When you have like minds and people who want to keep elevating, you need to collaborate in some way. While at the DEC’s event, AT&T was there and they spoke about how small businesses can contract with them. They talked about innovation being key but spoke heavily on collaboration. The speaker talked about how many small businesses can come together to bring more weight to contract with them.
I can go on and on about the roles my friends have and how they fit in my board of directors but let’s talk about your board of directors. Below are some key roles everyone should have in their lives and if you do not, then you need to reevaluate your friends. You have friends and you have people that are draining you, taking up time and space… we don’t need that.
These roles are needed with every hat you are are wearing in any stage of life
- The No Person– Not someone that always says no but someone that can see the details in things you are trying to do. You may be like me and a huge visionary but may struggle sometimes with the realities of things. You need someone to be able to bring you down to earth and weigh those things out.
- The No-Judgement Person– Someone you can talk to on a deeper level- your fears, your weaknesses, your worries, your joys etc, and you need that person to listen objectively, they may not be the person that gives advice but you are comfortable talking to them without fear of ridicule and judgment.
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
― Mother Teresa
- Biggest Champion– This person is your cheerleader, your biggest fan, your hype-man… this person loves what you do and will help out when needed, share things, brag, promote… Get you about 5 of these people!!!
- The Smart One- You need a few of these in different areas, whether business, relationship, career etc… you need someone you can go to that just has awesome information that they can be an awesome resource.
- The Mentee– This person you are are bringing up with you, or you are helping them with their goals. If there are not people looking up to you, then you aren’t really doing a good job. If there are not people wanting to follow in your footsteps in some way, then you need to reevaluate how you are doing life.
“One of the greatest values of mentors is the ability to see ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination.” — John C. Maxwell
- Coach– This person helps you with the steps needed to get where you are going, they offer reflection tools, they are helping you prepare for the game.
- Spiritual Guide– This person or persons prays with and for you, they offer spiritual support, if you are Christian, they provided biblical principles and helps you look at it from a biblical way. If you are spiritual, they connect with you and usually pop up right when you need them.
Now remember, not everyone has a positive role in your life and everyone has a season and may not be there till death and that is ok. Not everyone gets to or should have access to the deeper levels of your life. So be careful of who you let in your ear or what you tell them.
“Some people only come into your life just to teach you how to let go.” -Unknown
Now think about the roles you play in other people’s lives. Are you the encourager? Are you the coach? Are you the keeping it real person? When you know the roles you play in people’s lives, you can be much more effective in their lives.