Hey beautiful people,
I don’t know about you, but I am very sad about the end of the Obama’s in the White House. It may be that I am older and was able to to understand how monumental and influential they were not only for me but the whole world but it is really hitting me hard. The number one person that I always say I would like to meet living or dead is Michelle Obama. Her values and passions that she was able to amplify with her platform is amazing. Military families, women’s rights, healthy eating and so much more… she really served her country and I am very proud.
Recently, First Lady Michelle and Oprah held the State of Women and I am glad I watched it. I was like 40 minutes though, I am a millennial and I like a quick fix lol. But it was too amazing to pull away. It was so good I had to blog about it! Just in case you do not want to watch the whole video, I summarized it and added a little reflection to it! So here is a quick summary of
The United State of Women Summit – June 14th, 2016
Below it is broken it to segments with key notes to think about that was said between First Lady and Oprah. My reflection is italicized.
Oprah said the biggest theme that she sees in women that she has interviewed was the lack of self value and self worth.
- Constantly hit with images to be liked and it is a lot to live up to. The pressure of peoples expectations and how to own living in yourself.
- 1st job as women is to get to know ourself— we have to stop looking to the world to help define who we are. We cannot be limited… we are limitless as women.
- Obama went into it with a clear vision of herself. Easy to brush off comments because she knows who she is.
- Why limit yourself with others expectations
- Try not to be influenced by others experiences. Uniquely and specifically what it is for you and your experience. How do you stay whole and
- Protect self and time other wise others will gobble it up.
- Do not compromise and do not settle do not sell yourself short.
- Bravery- Knowing that you will not be taking advantage of and knowing yourself. Like yourself you have to work to get there.
- You know your own value
- Stand in your own truth.
- You alone are enough!
One thing I realized after my divorce was that, I really did not know who I was. I mean, I knew what I liked, I knew what I did not like but I did not know how to be that in a serious relationship. I lost myself trying to fit the molds of everyone’s expectations. The expectations of a ministers wife, the role of a wife trying to make everything work, the role other people saw as a newlywed. Questions like when will you have babies, when this and that? I let other people’s comments and expectations mess with me and I lost myself trying to be everything to everyone. As I have been a single woman exploring the world, expanding my perspective of the world, I am learning how to authentically be myself despite all of the madness around me. Learning not to let others experiences stunt my experiences. Like my divorce does not have to be your divorce and that is cool!
How do we get there?
This question is referring to how do we learn how to stand in our truth and know ourselves so that we are not swayed by the opinions of others.
- The first disappointments, first bullies, life’s changes, how do you handle yourself?
- Surround yourself with people that help you up. If they are not your parent, find people that will build you up.
- Make room for people to love you. If you have only people that contribute to your life in a negative way, there will not be room for love.
- Give yourself space from the social media world. PEOPLE LIE ON SOCIAL MEDIA…
- People won’t remember what you say you will do, they remember what you do!
- Do what you do well!
- The Haters: The best revenge is success! You do not have to acknowledge them at all.
- Allow your passion to fuel you.
- People can smell authenticity. Be authentically yourself. Do things that you absolutely love.
- Happy and feel good every single day- public service. (Michelle said this as she talked about leaving her career as a lawyer to step into the public service role.)
- Do not isolate yourself, you need to be connected with people.
- There are so many phases to life that the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” has to stop. Know that there is so much more to life and it doesn’t just stop until you are dead.
- Quit wasting your talents!
- Life’s changes do not change who you are they amplify who you are. (Talking about President Obama on if he has changed since becoming president)
Authenticity is key. You ever just try to do something because everyone else was doing it and deep inside you just weren’t feeling it. If you can spot a fake person from a mile away, don’t you think people will be able to since that about you! Learning more about who you are and what fuels you is key to a happy life. Once you are firm in your truth, in what you love, the haters won’t even bother you!
For the men
- Be better fathers and love your daughters.
- Be better husbands be a part of the family’s life. Be engaged, do not babysit your kids
- Be a better employer, don’t allow your power to keep situations a certain way.
I unfortunately have not had many strong and amazing men in my life and that is probably why I struggled in my marriage and other relationships because I did not have a standard to base that on. I was like ok he is present… but is he really there. Then I had the Bible, and I am a biblical and spiritual person, so once I saw how much God loved me and wanted so much more for me it allowed me to see the standards on who I let into my personal space. I really do wish that men knew how much we women (maybe not all) love you and respect you but you have to give us something to respect. It is just like the saying to women, if we don’t love ourselves how can we allow a man to love us the right way.
- You really cannot have it all. You do not always get your way and you have to be fine with that.
- Manage your expectations.
- There are going to be somethings that will have to be on that back burner
- Life is in phases, you may have more in a later phase.
- You are not failing if you are not doing everything or have everything you want.
Managing expectations is so vital for living your life realistically. It is cool to have dreams and fantasies but realistically you can only control what you do. Keep turning down something because someone is not meeting your expectations, ok…
- The work always continues. We are never done. We can never be complacent.
- If we do not continue the work, it will be taken away.
- What are you going to do to be better?
- How are you going to empower yourself so you know what needs to be done.
- What can I do with what I have?
There are so many injustices all day everyday and sometimes we think we cannot do anything about it. But we have so much power and we are creative beings. We can use what we have to make the world a better place and it doesn’t have to be the whole world but could be someONE’s world. My biggest thing I wish people could do is really just be positive role models. If you cannot sing, write, teach or whatever what you do in your daily walk will make the biggest impact. Someone is always watching you and that may be a huge load to carry but people are looking up to you and mimicking you.
So I ask you, what can you do with what you have to help change the world in a positive way? What are someways that you have been challenged to hold tight to your values and self worth?
I realized that this might be a lengthy read but um…. read it anyways. Here is the video if you would like to watch that instead.