Restaurant Etiquette: Guidelines for Tipping the Server

Restaurant Etiquette: Guidelines for Tipping the Server

Restaurant Etiquette

Hey there beautiful people!

If you have been following my posts, you know that I love good food! I also love going to restaurants that are unique when it comes to food, decor and atmosphere. As you know I am from Minnesota and I am black so of course like many other places, it is filled with people that are white. Many people already treat us like we are not going to tip and if we do, we won’t tip well. But I like to give them a surprise by tipping well. I love to overtip for a a couple of reasons, one- my companions don’t tip well and two- I love to give! This one girl I went to lunch with looked at my bill and my tip and got shocked and said, “Do you always tip so well?” I was like yes, even when the service is bad.

Recently I went out with some beautiful people and we were celebrating! I noticed though, some behaviors that made me a little ashamed. That is the bougie black girl in me.

Based on a few experiences, here are some guidelines for tipping servers:

  1. Don’t taint others opinions based on your separate experience. Just because you don’t like the server based on your interactions does not mean everyone needs to not like them. Let them be their own judge. For example, this girl had a bad interaction with the server and then the other guest came to the table and was telling them how horrible the server was. Now they got an attitude like the server did something to them and now they don’t want to tip the server. That aint right!
  2. The server is just doing their job. They are waiting on you, taking your order, fixing what is not right and so on. Yes, they wanted this job but you do not have to treat them like they are “the help” You do not get to the right to treat them bad because something was not exactly right. You do not get to snap because you ordered an alcoholic drink and you need to show them your ID… like this instance, a girl ordered a drink and she left her ID in the car so she told the server I will go get it, but took a while to get up to go. The server came back and said I am still going to need your ID. The girl snapped… the lady was just doing her job! She cannot put in the order without checking otherwise she could get in serious trouble!
  3. 10, 15, 20% of the bill. Back in the day it was ok to pay just 10% but times have changed. Rent has gone up, food Bad-Tippinghas gone up and so have bills. Remember that the servers are getting only minimum wage which is around $7 an hour. Servers live off of tips. I cannot imagine serving you for hours, refilling your cups, taking back food you do not like and so on and you tip me $2 on a $20 meal. That is an insult and disrespectful. I went on ONE date with this guy. Our bill came up to $35 and this fool inhaled all of his food and kept eating mine. Big Greedy self. Anyways, on the bill he decided to tip $3 and had the nerve to put three exclamations and the word “ONLY” on there. I was so embarrassed that the next day I came back and gave the server more money. I thought that was so cheap and stingy and so not attractive.
  4. Change is for the world not the servers pockets. Yes, it adds up but when they pick up that billfold and all the change comes flying out, that is annoying! Give them straight bills if paying in cash, it is alright if you leave it on the card! You know you do not like getting change back, that is why you get the change in your purse or pocket so that you just get bills back. YOU KNOW THIS!
  5. Drinks at the bar… at the VERY MINIMUM please tip $1 even if the drink was $2.50 It is ok to tip my people! 8f4290a660a04f476a8c5fb18cdf8aa1
  6. DO NOT SUBTRACT YOUR TIP… I saw this floating on the web where this person took away how much they would have tipped them if they enjoyed the food or service. So then his bill which was around $12 now became $10, I do not even know if that is legal. Hilarious yes, right NO! Do not do that!
  7. If you cannot afford to leave a decent tip then you cannot afford to go out! Simple as that… You knew you were going to spend money. Don’t be mad when you decided to treat yourself even when times are hard but don’t want to tip because you’re closer to E on your tank. That aint right.

Well anyways! Hope this little rant helps! Before going out with some friends make sure you send them this to help out! I do not want you walking around in shame based on others actions 🙂 But it is all in fun. big-tip

Peace and Blessings,


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  • My husband loves to tip. He says that the server will treat you very well next time, and will remember you. Coming from an Asian race, I, like your statement, has experienced the same treatment where “Many people already treat us like we are not going to tip and if we do, we won’t tip well. But I like to give them a surprise by tipping well. ” surprise, surprise, the server in the end feels bad on how he has treated us, but gives full pampering the next time we go there.
    It feels good to give, without expecting anything in return.

    • Exactly. And that is how life is supposed to be give with no expectations. 😊 I love it. Thanks for commenting.

  • My boyfriend use to be a server so I definitely know what he had to go through, great article!

    • Oh Yea. People just don’t know lol. Thanks for commenting.

  • Co-sign, completely!!! I am a ridiculously big tipper, too… Not just to buck the stereotype, but because I’ve worked in the service industry and know that it’s little things like a great tip that can make a server’s day!!

    • I know right… being a server is a lot of work and they should be paid decently!

  • tcwbrooks

    I agree – especially with number 7. People need to be prepared to tip when they go out to eat. If they know the exact total of the bill, use an app. Geez. That’s a pet peeve of mine too.

  • I use to be a server I definitely know the struggle of living off tips

  • Yes, yes, yes! I saw myself in your post because I do like to give a good tip..I might even overtip. Loved your guidelines. 🙂

    • 🙂 Sweet, thank you! Overtipping is great… you just spreading your love in the atmosphere! 🙂

  • Great advice! I know some people who definitely need to read this post!!! In my opinion, tipping is never negotiable, even if you’re service is horrible. You just have to take the good with the bad and recognize that sometimes you’ll get a lackluster server and sometimes you’ll get a fabulous one!

    Best Wishes,

    • My fellow #BlackBloggersUnited! Thanks for stopping by! I agree that tipping is nonnegotiable… I just feel that even when you tip them and their service is bad, that is on them. I believe in KARMA… and DHARMA! Thanks for commenting…

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