#relationshipgoals #buildanempire #boss

Be sure to check out last weeks The Cox Effect Conversation on The Art of Sliding in their DM.

I saw this quote floating around and thought to myself, do men really want their women to be progressive and go getters? Or do they want to be the bread winner, running things while their woman is at home cleaning, cooking taking care of the home? I wondered, how many men would like a go getter woman like Michelle Obama or Tracy Mourning?

I ask this because, I personally have some extreme goals and I want to do some really dope things in the community and even the world but that comes with some sacrifices. I realized that I personally need someone who is at my speed or more, we understand more. The question though, will it be balanced? Will you both dedicate time together and continue to build what you are building?

I dig a little further and think about EMPIRE, can or will what I am doing or what they are doing compliment and work together to build that empire? I wonder if what we are doing conflicts on any level and think is it worth it?

Lately, I have noticed that as a blogger, I do A LOT. I am out at different events, networking and trying to find my place. To others, it looks like I am rippin and runnin the streets, or I have to be doing something. But overall, that is my personality and that is for another blog post. But I am doing what I feel needs to be done for my brand and business. Some will not understand that at all. Some men can see that as a turn off, and I question, will my lifestyle fit with theirs?

Becuase I had these questions,

I asked the Cox Effect Lounge this: 

Fellas, when thinking about building an empire… well if that is your goal… Do you prefer your lady to be a go getter and yall create something together or do you mind if she just works…. not a problem at all…. I have always dreamed that my future husband be very progressive and have that go getter mentality… Like really creating an empire that our children can watch and take over… What are the characteristics you look for in your potential? LADIES YOU CAN ANSWER TOO!!!

Some of the answers:

King 1: With me being a go getter and very ambitious I would like a woman that has some of that with her. I have always wanted to be half of a POWER COUPLE

Queen 1: My dream is to help my future man build his empire as his biggest supporter. standing aside and behind him motivating him and picking him up during the hard times. When he has a passion it’s my job to water it.

King 1: Thats what I’m talking about.

Queen 2: Yea… Same here… I view my potentials as how can we be great together!

Queen 3: I’m finding it oddly hard to find someone as dope as me. Not saying that I am this super human, but the guys that have high entrepreneurial passion are too busy chasing their dreams to look my way.

Queen 1: I always see these things as a challenge. If I see a man that CLEARLY has a goal I hop right in and see how I can help. If it grows, that’s the ideal situation. If he looks like he doesn’t have enough time, the more you ride with him the more he’ll see you being there for him.

Queen 2: Yea but some dreams are meant for only that person… and you will be riding and fall off somewhere trying to find a way back to where you were…. lol

Queen 1: I kick myself off when I notice I’m spending too much time.

King 2: Either way is okay with me… I just desire her to be supportive and communicate straight with no chaser… That will inspire me!

King 4: Have your own desires goals etc but push and support mine too… cause I’m going to push and support you.

King 5: I want my future wife to live out her passion whatever that might be. My goal is to provide in such a way that she feels comfortable and stress free to pursue any dream she has in her mind.

King 6: If she’s working towards her dream I’m definitely going to support her. She might not want to do what I do to create an empire but she will be there to support it. As long as we continue to move forward in how successful we are in love, wealth and peace then we’re good. I’m not gonna change her passions for mine. But I know I want to get my empire set well enough that if she wants to she can quit working and everything will be provided for us by what we build or was helped in building. And if she continues to go after her passions then everything that she needs will be taken care of cause our empire will allow it. Either way, as long as we build a foundation we can still build a castle with many rooms. That foundation is the most important piece.

King 7: To be honest I only can answer for myself I used to want a stay home woman but I realized that I’m such a go getter I need one too so when I’m working they understand and it’s less conflicts.

My question then, is what if a woman makes more, is more known/respected, and really living her life while being with you? Are there ego issues? Is there a masculinity problem? Or will it be alright? Can we build and leave a legacy for our children’s children?

My understanding is that men want you to:

1. Have your own goals
2. Be a go-getter
3. Support Him
4. Build together

Seems easy right, but then something seems to happen where the ego on either side comes out. They think they are competition, they see you as a threat.

Ladies, what do you think? Are you looking for a guy to lead the way, keep up with you or support you?

It looks like, if you want a go gettin man/woman you will be missing out on some quality time. You will have to understand that a successful wo/man is a busy one and you have to be able to fit.

What are your for real thoughts? Help a sista out!

Have an anonymous question to ask The Cox Lounge 

Thanks for reading!

Peace and Blessings,
CicelyRenee