Black, Single & a Woman, 7 Reasons I Left Minnesota

Black, Single & a Woman, 7 Reasons I Left Minnesota

Hey beautiful people,

I recently came across an article stating that Minnesota is one of the worst states for racial equality, in fact, it was ranked #2. They said that black people are 10 times more likely to end up in prison and that the median household income of a black family is just around $30,000 compared to a white family that averaged almost $67,000. (Minnesota CBS)

Minnesota is a beautiful place, land of 10,000 lakes and they actually have 11,842 lakes of 10 acres or more. The 1968 state survey found 15,291 lake basins, of which 3,257 were dry. If all basins over 2.5 acres were counted, Minnesota would have 21,871 lakes. Wikipedia

I absolutely love when the leaves change and fall! You have to drive to Duluth or Stillwater and enjoy the visual effects of when the seasons change. During the summer, it is gorgeous as well and over the summer I actually took my mother to ride a boat on Lake Minnetonka, you know the lake where Prince says to “Purify Yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka”


The homes in Minneapolis- St. Paul are so beautiful, especially if you cruise on Summit Ave in St Paul. You will see these immaculate homes and you drive by wondering, who lives there and how much it costs to keep it warm in the winter. The unique homes that surround the lakes are definitely custom made and amazingly unique. Minnesota is beautiful! 

Don’t forget the “main attraction” Mall of America, which was my second home growing up in high school and college. I not only shopped there but was my first legit place of work and I loved it!

But as beautiful as it may seem, there is some ugliness to it! They have this term called, “Minnesota Nice” where people smile and nod where they look friendly on the outside but inside do some crazy things. This is especially true for people of color. We all code switch, but in Minnesota, you had to do that as well as tone down everything.

As I reflect on my life in Minnesota, it makes me see the many times I was in a Sunken Place and didn’t even know it. Attire and actions are huge here so when you see a black person at work, they are to look and act a certain way so they won’t make “others” uncomfortable. Here in Dallas, the few places I worked, many of my black coworkers, literally “DID THEM” their clothes, their hair, their trinkets at their desks screeeammmedd, “I am black and I am proud” and here I am nervous for them, hoping “others’ didn’t see them for them. Secretly hoping that they wouldn’t lose their job.

I left Minnesota twice, the first time in 2008, thinking I would never return but I did. I ended of getting my Master’s degree in Educational Leadership and meeting my ex-husband. I stayed for about 5 years and during my marriage, I kept begging him to move but he wasn’t trying to move. I never planned on staying that long and was glad I was able to leave when I did the second time around. Dec. 2015 I drove down to Texas. But my desire to leave Minnesota was so strong, I felt so trapped. I had to go!

7 Reasons I Left Minnesota

  1. Career growth was stunted– I remember working at The Oak Grill, an amazing restaurant in Macy’s on the 12th floor, almost done with my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration trying to be part of the Internship program they had for recent and almost done college grads. I literally did a 20+ paper on the systems of the restaurant for my Management Information Systems class and received an A on that joker. I was so excited and they knew about it. They told me to send my resume and I did. I kept asking about it to my boss and her boss and they said, they would be interviewing soon. New cohorts of interns came and a new set came and still no interview. They were never going to submit my resume and if they did they were never going to get me into that all white internship program.
  2. I wanted to marry a black man– After my divorce, I wanted to be open to different races and I want to still try but deep down in my heart, I desire to marry a black man. I grew up in Minneapolis, which makes it so small. Dating would suck because everyone would already know each other or been in a relationship. I remember asking, is there a time limit on dating your old high school friend’s ex-boyfriend? I remember dating a guy and he was scrolling on my facebook friends list and said, “Oh, you know her? I used to mess with her.” Something about being with a guy that messed with all your friends and their friends.
  3. The cost of living was rising like crazy– After my divorce, I looked for an apartment and in Minnesota, you have to have first, last and deposit which is equal to one month’s rent. You can have no record if you wanted to live in a good area. You have to make 3 times the rent and I just wasn’t in the position to be able to afford it. I did find this cute little place close to work and it was my sanctuary until I figured out my next moves. In Dallas, most places only require an application fee and deposit which is between $100-300.
  4. Same events, same people– Minneapolis/St Paul is small, I was so bored. The same people hosted the same type of events with the same people going to those events. I just felt that I needed a change of scenery. How many times can I go to the same day party or networking event with the same people saying the same thing?
  5. I hated the winter– I hated being cold, it gets really cold here. The snow was wild and no matter what, your employer does not care! Trekking in 3 feet of snow and sliding on black ice is not cute and too much work. My car, which I didn’t have a garage, I would have to get up 30 minutes earlier, to warm the car up…
  6. Bad memories– Divorce is up there on the top of the list of bad memories as well as that time my friends and I go to a house party in college and hearing, “The Darkies are coming” and so many other memories that I don’t need reminding of constantly.
  7. Needed a challenge/change– I literally need a fresh start. I needed new experiences, new challenges, new people. I needed to take myself out of my comfort zone and do something that will make myself proud.

I know that people’s experiences are different and that some people’s Minnesota can be Florida or Texas or whatever. I feel that if something keeps drawing you out of your comfort zone then you should listen. So many people are afraid to leave what is familiar and I get it, but if there are more pushes out of a place rather than pull then you might want to consider it.

I do think that single, black women should leave Minnesota for so many reasons but I am not mad if you don’t. I will say, do your research on a place you want to relocate and visit it as well to get a feel of what is to come.

Do you live in Minnesota? Or are in your own “Minnesota” (wherever you live) where you are ready to leave and find a new adventure? Did you recently move for non-work reasons? Tell us about it in the comments.

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Peace and Blessings,

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